Hogwarts V The Cullens
by Mickey-Wulf
Summary: What would happen if Hogwarts took on the Cullens? IDK my bffl Jill? Let's get a look see.. will either side accept defeat! Chapter 4 is the FINAL chapter.
1. Broom V Edward's mighty Feet

What would happen if Hogwarts REALLY took on The Cullens... lets see...

**Edward:** Well, well, we've got us a buch of little house cleaners.

**Harry:** Don't talk about my broom like that. I bet I can move faster than you can.

**Ron:** Hey Harry, where do Vampires keep their money?

**Harry:** I don't care, Ron. But you are probably going to tell me anyway.

**Ron:** A BLOOD BANK! -falls over-

**Emmett: **They think they are so funny.

**Hermione: **Oh honestly Ron.

**Rosalie:** I guess they were right when they said witches were Hags.

**Draco**: Hey there beautiful, want to see why I am in slytherin. wink wink

**Emmett: **Back off broom boy or you'll find out why I am called the bear.

**Edward:** So Mr. Potter, that little wager of yours. Shall we?

**Harry:** What are the terms?

**Edward:** To the Boundary of La Push and back. Seem fair to you?

**Bella:** Don't do it Edward. What if you lose?

**Harry:** You should listen to your little girlfriend.

**Alice: **La la la la -twirls hair- Lookie! We've got us a ginger!

**Ron:** Get off me!

**Harry:** Let us start shall we.

**To be continued...**

**Actually lets continue it now...**

**Edward: **Bye, witch.

**Harry: **-Flies on broom over the trees looking for Edward-

**Edward: -**Waiting for Potter at the boundary-

**Harry: **-Gets to boundary only to see Edward leave-

**Draco**: So, Rosalie. How bout after all of this I take you out to dinner.

**Rosalie: -**turns to Draco- How about you are my dinner? -grins deviously-

**Edward: **-crosses the 'finish' line-

**Hogwarts: **-Loses-

**Draco: **Damn you Potter.

**Fin.**


	2. Hermione V Alice

**Hogwarts was defeated. Draco was turned down. Edward and the rest of the Cullens including Bella were gloating in their victory. **

**RECAP:**

_**Edward: **-crosses the 'finish' line-_

_**Hogwarts: **-Loses-_

_**Draco: **Damn you Potter._

The Next Challenge.

**Alice: **Don't be so sad. You still have your little brooms. -snickers-

**Hermione: **I challenge you to a duel! -pulls out wand-

**Emmett:** Look out Alice, she's got a stick! -falls over-

**Ron:** -falls over-

**Hermione:** -glares-

**Ron:** Sorry. D;

**Draco:** -whispers to Harry- Aren't vampires impervious to magic?

**Harry:** -shrugs-

**Alice:** -pulls out Post-its and a pen-

**Edward:** You must have a better plan that that.

**Alice:** Do you?

**Edward:** -shakes head-

**Hermione:** STUPEFY!

**Alice:** -sees it coming before Hermione casts spell and runs posting a post-it note on Hermione's robes-

**Hermione:** 0.o;

**Alice:** Read it.

**Hermione:** Tag?

**Alice:** You lose.

**Ron:** -falls over-

**Draco:** -winks at Rosalie-

**Rosalie:** . Do it again and you'll be dinner.

**Draco: **-cowers behind Harry.

-**Team** **Hogwarts** **Huddles**-

**Harry:** We can't kePotterep losing.

**Hermione:** Edward is so dreamy -dazzled-

**Ron:** What's so special about him? -jealous-

**Draco:** Rosalie likes me.

**All:** -Glares at Draco-

**Hermione:** She wants to eat you for dinner.

**Draco:** Yeah, she wants me.

-**Team Cullen + Bella**-

**Emmett:** What are they saying?

**Edward:** -grins- Rosalie's got an admirer.

**Emmett:** -thinks about pounding Draco-

**Alice:** I already saw what they are going to do.

TO BE CONTINUED!


	3. Avada KerDAZZLEness

**Hogwarts was working out a devious plan! (but they were still losing)**

**Recap:**

**Emmett:** -thinks about pounding Draco-

**Alice:** I already saw what they are going to do.

_Hermione's Brilliant Idea!_

**-Poofs in the spirit of the Dark Lord-**

**Hogwarts: **Wha?

**Voldie: **I am here to help.

**Harry: **But-

**Voldie:** You must use the killing curse!

**Hermione:** But they are already dead!

**Voldie:** SO! I AM A SPIRIT HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME!

**Hermione:** -cowers-

**Edward:** Any day now?

**Hermione:** -holds wand- _Great I have to duel him?_

**Edward:** _Hahaha._

**Hermione:** AVADA KER-

**Edward: **-dazzles-

**Hermione:** -faints-

**Emmett:** -Victory dance-

**Score:**

**Hogwarts: 0**

**Cullens (+bella): 3**

**Draco:** This sucks.

**Harry: **Tell me about it.

**Alice:** Give up yet?

**Ron:** NO!

**-Harry and Draco go on one broom and Ron and Hermione get on another-**

**Harry:** We'll be back!

**Ron:** -accidently toches Hermione's no-no spot and blushes-

**Everyone else:** -falls over-

**...Till next time.**


	4. Darn, Foiled again

Disclaimer: I dont own Harry Potter or Twilight. This would never happen in the fictional world because they are two different types of stories.

It has been SEVERAL years since the last time Hogwarts encountered the Cullen Family. This time it is their children [Well on the Cullen Side, Just Renesmee.] [Oh and obviously Jacob]

**Scorpius: **Oh, hey there.

**Renesmee: **Are you talking to me? -she asks as an over sized wolf trots off from beside her-

**Albus: **Don't mind him. We have business to attend to!

**Rose: **Yes! We Do!

**Renesmee:** And this business is?

**Lily:** A battle between our families!

**Renesmee:** You want to fight me?

**All:** Nodded.

**-Jacob comes walking to Renesmee's side. In just a pair of shorts, his russet bare chest exposed-**

**Jacob:** What's going on? -slips a kiss to Renesmee's forehead, making sure Edward was no where to be found-

**Renesmee:** They want a fight...

**Hugo:** YEAH!

**James:** -Twirls hair and pops some gum-

**-Team Hogwarts glare at him-**

**James:** Hey! I'm just here to make sure you don't get killed.

**Jacob:** So, how is this going to go?

**Rose: **Well, -trails off on a long explanation- So, that's how.

**-They all awake from the dead-**

**Scorpius:** She's finished?

**Albus:** Yeah.

**Teddy:** Haha.

**All:** How'd you get here?

**Teddy:** Uh, I flew. -holds up broom-

**Rose:** Now I have to reexplain the whole thing!

**ALL [even Nessie and Jacob]:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**Teddy:** -Stands next to Jacob- Hey look guys. -Turns into Jacob- I'm a big half naked man!

**Lily:** HAHAHAHAHAHA

**Jacob:** I'm bored. Can we go back to your place and watch some football with Emmett?

**Renesmee:** Sounds like a plan.

**Rose:** WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR FIGHT?

**Renesmee:** Uh, oh. That. Right. Uh. No thanks.

**Jacob:** Yeah, no thanks.

**Rose:** BUT BUT BUT

**Renesmee:** Listen, if we fight. You WILL lose.

**Rose:** BUT I KNOW HOW TO HEX A VAMPIRE!

**Jacob:** -Starts to laugh-

**Renesmee:** Do your homework, read Breaking Dawn you fool. I'm a hybrid. -points to Jacob- He's a shapeshifter, just in case you were going to use werewolf hexes against him.

**Rose:** -Feels like a complete failure.-

**Scorpius:** It's okay, Rosie. I got used to failing years ago.


End file.
